Revisions I will make to my paper

In my paper there are things which I see now I need to change. Some of which being my grammar and spelling, spelling several words wrong repetitively and not using commas has made my paper difficult to read. Along with my grammatical corrections it has come to my attention that some parts of my paper have been repetitive and some parts can be removed completely. The repetitive aspect being my definition of genre which I feel should also be more elaborated on, not the definition but my personal understanding and beliefs of genre. Next, I need to remove the mass of my paper that is used to convey my artifact as it is comsumming a major portion of my work. One thing mentioned about my paper I feel like can be kept but edited is my comparison of song to movies and the way genre draws in an audience. I believe that by comparing these two forms of entertainment in my paper I can make it apparent to readers that there really isn’t a difference between genre in song and genre in video. Although I see this as a very good topic to point out, my editor believed that the sentence about the genre of the song “September” was unnessicary and had no conection to the paper. So, I will add a better connection piece to include these facts and better my paper to support my thesis. The parts in my paper that include ethos logos and pathos are some what unclear to a reader so I think it would be for the best if I removed it in total or included some more laymen’s terms to link the connection of viewer menulation to the literary devices used in production.


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